silence is compliance 18

There will be no silence

Worries… June 4, 2012

As I sat down to write this, I worried. I worried that I wouldn’t be able to think about anything to write about. I worried that if I managed to actually write something it would suck. I worried that I was posting on here too much. I worried that I wasn’t posting on here enough. And those were only the worries about the post! There were also the unrelated and constantly on my mind worries: My family was going to be injured. I was going to fail in life. I was going to be injured. My cat hates me for getting a new cat. My sister hates me. Those are only a few of the things I was (and still am) worried about. In reality, I am constantly worrying about something going wrong or being messed up or me doing something dumb or just something terrible happening.

One of my biggest worries right now is debate camp. Debate is kind of my life. I love it and I am extremely excited for camp. But, I am also extremely worried. I am worried about so many things too. I guess I should give you a little bit of background on the camp first. I am going to a camp that is 9 hours away from my home. I will be going with my sister, although we will be in different divisions at the camp. The camp we are attending only has one division of Policy the first session so she will be doing that, then advanced the second session. I will be doing intermediate the first session and advanced the second. I am nervous about doing the advanced camp because I do not think I am ready for it (my coach said I was though… I think he overestimates my ability). Also, for the advanced camp I have to write cases before camp. I am really nervous that my cases will be terrible, or that I will run out of time and procrastinate too much, or that I won’t have enough research, or that my cases will simply be crushed by competitors that are better than me. All of these things I am extremely worried about. I am also worried that I will not make any friends and I will just be awkwardly alone when I am not around my sister, or that everyone will already have friends from their school there and I will be alone during the LD sessions. I am also worried that my  parents will not get the forms ready in time and I will not get to go. Overall, I’m just really nervous about debate camp.

Another thing I am worried about right now is my family’s vacation. We are going to Yellowstone National Park. My family fights a lot which bothers me, so I am worried that we will do nothing but fight the entire time. My parents are a lot more athletic than my sister and I so I am worried that they will get mad if we don’t want to walk like 7 miles to see a rock or something. I am worried that my cats will fight or get lonely when we are gone. I am also worried about the drive there because it will be very boring to be in the car for such a long time. I am worried that it will be rainy when we want to see things so it will not be fun.

My final biggest worry right now is school. I am a high school student going into my sophomore year and I have a lot of summer homework. First of all, summer work is the stupidest concept ever created. We get a break once a year that is consistently getting shorter. Explain to me why I should have to do work over summer. I have 2 books I have to read for Honors English II. One of them is boring (The Life of Pi) and the other is about a girl in a work camp (First They Killed My Father) which will be really sad. I have no interest in reading either of these books, but I have to… and I love reading! Why do we have to read such terrible books?! Then for AP Euro I have to read a book and write like… 35 paragraphs about it. Finally, I have to do a packet for Honors Geometry. Granted, I am taking harder classes… but still! Sorry for that rant about school; I will now move on to the point: I’m really worried about my summer work. Like, when I think about what I have to do, I completely freak out. I was legitimately sitting in a movie theater with my friends getting stressed about it. I am worried that my teachers will not be happy with how I am doing it. I am worried that I will procrastinate too much and never get it done or procrastinate not enough and completely forget what happened in the books before school starts and when we discuss it look like a complete slacker. I am worried that I won’t understand the books. I am worried that I will not have enough time for all my school work or that my teachers will be bad and not teach me enough. School is always a worry of mine but I am really nervous about this year.

Okay, so now you know everything I am worried about (okay, so really less than half but I thought this was plenty to illustrate my point.) But do these worried help anything? Will me worrying about my family fighting make us not fight? Will worrying about my debate skills make them better? NO! So what is the point of me worrying? I suppose I could go read my books and write my cases now, but I honestly just don’t want to. I would rather write blog posts and read YA Romance novels for now. I got out of school 2 weeks ago, but I am already worrying. But why do people worry so much? I really don’t know the psychological answer and I may be completely be off base but this is what I think. I think people worry as a warning sign. There are times when worrying is very useful. It is useful to worry about crossing the street so that we are careful not to be hit by a car. It is useful to worry about your cookies getting burnt so you make sure you set the timer to make sure you take them out in time. So many times, worrying is completely useful. However, people take it too far. We get to the point where we worry about everything too much which leads to more worrying. Sometimes we do nothing but worry all the time. And we know it’s not useful; we know it’s harmful; we know it leads to nothing beneficial, but we worry anyway.

So, I am going to try to stop worrying and just enjoy my summer break. I hope that I can! If not, I guess I have cases to write!

P.S. I do have a plan for doing all of my work; I’m not a complete slacker! During my long car rides (I have 6 that are nine hours or longer) I will read my books and write my cases.


Impressing People (Primarily Your Dentist) May 25, 2012

I have always wondered why people made such an effort to impress others. Why do I put on makeup when I go out in public? Why am I trying to impress people who I will most likely never see again and whose opinions of me have absolutely no impact on my life? I will never know – but I will still continue to put on makeup before I go out in public.

I promise eventually I will get to the impressing your dentist part, but first a backstory. When I was little, and I went to the dentist (EVERY 6 MONTHS!) they would always tell me where I needed to brush better,. I took this to heart, and would work so hard to make sure I got every spot in my mouth. Because of this, I developed extremely good dental hygiene habits. Once I turned eight or so they would tell me that I did such a good job brushing and flossing. I was really, really proud of this. Also, around this time my family bought a really good electric toothbrush (we had a head for each person-don’t worry!). This made my brushing a lot better. I used it from then on and never had to worry about getting yelled at by my dentist, until I grew up a little bit and got braces.

Now braces are not fun and they hurt and I generally hated them. Also, it was hard to brush well and floss while I had them. Brushing was difficult because I had gotten older so I didn’t brush my teeth in my parents’ bathroom so I couldn’t use the electric toothbrush. It was also hard to get into tight spaces. Flossing was difficult because it took forever. When you have braces, it takes no lesst than ten minutes to floss your teeth. I didn’t have the time or patience for that! Because of this, my teeth were generally not as healthy as they were before. Now we get to the impressing people part!

Every time I would go to the dentist I would always brush really, really good ahead of time and floss. This was not the most helpful for my teeth, but I thought my dental hygienists wouldn’t realize that I hadn’t been doing this for 6 months (or more honestly about two years).  Obviously, I wasn’t impressing them with my falsified extremely good brushing and flossing, but I did it anyway. Why was I trying to impress them? Wasn’t I (or more accurately my parents’ insurance) paying THEM? Why would they pay them and not be honest? That’s like going to a psychiatrist and being like “Nope, I have absolutely no mental problems! That’s why I’m here!” It makes no sense whatsoever!

Eventually I realized that, and now I simply brush my teeth like normal and floss ONCE like normal before I go to the dentist. Last time I went my hygienist said, “Do you always brush like this, or did you just do it for me?” SEE! They know that a lot of the time we brush badly and then go to them and brush well once! Coincidentally the only time I’ve ever been asked that was when I do in fact always brush like that but still! So people, brush your teeth well all of the time and floss often! But if you’re not going to do that, at least be honest with your dentist. They are being paid to help you; you don’t have to impress them.

All of this had already occurred to me, when one day in le classe de Français (French Class… I think…) we were discussing our daily routines (get up, get dressed, take a shower, etc.) when my french teacher asked about flossing. I saw that I was the only person of my class of over 20 students that flossed on a regular basis. Then she asked, “how about right before you go to the dentist?” and nearly every hand went up. Clearly, this is a common problem that needs fixing! Again, I say, YOU DON’T NEED TO IMPRESS YOUR DENTIST, AND YOU’RE NOT IMPRESSING THEM!



Hello world!

Filed under: Uncategorized — silenceiscompliance18 @ 7:01 PM
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WordPress started this blog post for me, so I decided to keep the title “Hello world!” which seems to be an appropriate title to me. They told me to say why I am starting the blog, which seems like a good idea. It is also however, a difficult question. Truthfully, I am not sure why I started this blog. I don’t really expect people to be interested in my life or rants or anything else. I guess I just wanted to talk about myself. This seems narcissistic however. Maybe I just wanted to talk to myself. It seems that often talking to yourself is more helpful than talking to other people. But couldn’t I have just done that with a journal. Then it would be more private and I wouldn’t need to use proper grammar our avoid cursing. I’ve decided that I like this better partially for that reason — it raises expectations. With a journal I would not be able to as deeply express my feelings because I would not think about it. On here, the slightest possibility of someone else reading this makes me want to make sure it is up to par. The other reason why I think I decided to post on here is because of the slightest possibility of someone reading it. With a journal, there is no chance, and even if I do not expect people to want to read this, it would be amazing if someone did and it cheered them up or made them feel less alone or gave them a glimpse into another point of view and the glimmer of hope is enough I think.

WordPress also told me to say where I saw this blog going. For that, I don’t really know. I see myself posting my opinions in hopefully a somewhat entertaining way. I know I will post rants, but I guess my hope is that these rants will be well thought out and make sense, but make me feel better at the same time. That is all I know for sure right now, but I guess I can update this when I know for sure.

Now I decided to talk about my name on here. The 18 part simply came fromt the fact that silenceiscompliance was already a username so I had to add a number. Silence Is Compliance is a term used in debate basically where if your opponent does not refute your point, they automatically agree with it. However, I feel that in life this is a useful idea. If people don’t talk they cannot hope to make a change or let anyone know that they see a problem. By talking and expressing ourselves, we make it possible for changes to occur. Napolean Bonaparte, who I will admit was a terrible person but was an excellent leader, said “Ten people who speak make more noise than ten thousand who are silent,” and I think he was spot on with this.